I had dinner with a pastor and his wife today. They remarked that "once people experience a real group, they can't imagine life without one." I reflected on that a bit. My experience is similar. It is not about groups as a strategy or form or model. It is about the shared life, what Bonhoeffer described as "life together" where all are welcome, especially the weak. "The elimination of the weak is the death of the fellowship" he was prone to say.

But I have found that for that group experience to work, we need to re-educate people about relational intelligence. So many groups fail because people simply do not know how to relate as a community. Most skills in group life are simply people skills. That is why Henry Cloud, John Townsend and I put ReGroup(TM) together. You'll hear more about it soon, but we wanted to help groups be groups--listening, balancing sharing, giving each other feedback, dealing with weak and hurting members graciously, integrating truth and grace, calling the best our of each other, and so on. So we created something that a group can use while it meets to do just that.

This is the stuff of group life. It goes beyond praying and studying as formal disciplines. It is about "people-ing" so to speak. Which means facing our pain and struggles as a community. "True community begins at the edge of suffering," said one Christian leader--and I believe her. Somehow we have to get back to becoming a people who reflect the image and life of Jesus--and then groups will "work."

Later...Bill